Welcome to the December Growth/No Growth issue of NorthBay biz magazine. This is another of the issues we particularly enjoy producing each year, as it affords the opportunity to shed light on the always controversial and lively debate concerning growth in the North Bay. In addition, there’s a special report on senior healthy living. So, please enjoy all the stories, special features and columns in the area’s only locally owned business publication—celebrating 41 years of serving the local North Bay business community.
It’s Wednesday morning, November 9, and the result of yesterday’s presidential election is washing over a weary electorate. The polarizing nature of this long election season contributed to growing each of the candidates’ negatives in the eyes of their opponents. By the end, supporters of each candidate looked at their opponents with such vehement abhorrence that it bordered on hate.
Now the bell has rung, votes have been counted and a winner declared. It’s amazing that at the end of such a bitter battle (that included some of the nastiest invectives and demeaning characterizations) that the losing candidate can be instantly gracious and ask their supporters to support the new president, while the winning candidate can be equally magnanimous in extolling the virtues of the person just defeated. I guess that’s one of the great achievements of our country’s electoral system—the acceptance of election results and ultimately the peaceful transition of power. Now if this moment of conciliation could only be extended and the same spirit be applied to working together to solve the nation’s problems…OK, sorry, I got a little carried away there. Never mind.
Time for some lighter fare: As we approach the year’s end, let’s look at a couple of folks who proved to be winners of this year’s, “Hell yeah, I’m that dumb” award.
Winner #1. Earlier this year, some Boeing employees decided to take a life raft from one of the 747s parked at the airfield where they were working. They were successful getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly thereafter, they took the raft out on a river and soon noticed a Coast Guard helicopter flying toward them. It turned out that the copter was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They’re no longer employed at Boeing.
Winner #2. A guy walks into a corner store with a gun and demands all the cash from the register. After the cashier put the money in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch he wanted behind the counter and told the cashier to put it in the bag as well. The cashier refused, “Because I don’t believe you’re over 21.” The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed the man was over 21 and put the Scotch in the bag. The robber ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address he got from the license. The robber was arrested two hours later.
Who knows what a heteronym is? It’s a homograph (words of like spelling, with more than one meaning) that can be pronounced differently. The following examples show how hard it is to truly master English as a first language, let alone as a second.
• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• The farm was used to produce produce.
• The soldier decided not to desert his dessert in the desert.
• Since there’s no time like the present, she thought it was time to present the present.
• They were too close to the door to close it.
• I did not object to the object.
• When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• A buck does funny things when does are around.
I’ll leave you with this final thought: “Stupid is a condition. Ignorance is a choice.” —Wiley Miller
That’s it for now. Enjoy this month’s magazine.
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